Tuesday, April 17, 2012

My Emotions

Unpredictable. Unmeasurable. Undeniable, defining my ride. Been on a emotional roller coaster for a little while now. One minute I am up and the next I'm not. For days I try to mask it. Sometimes I am successful at it but on other days I am not the boss of them.

Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and others I want to cry from the pits of my soul. Unpredictable. Reserved by fear.

Afraid of letting go of myself  'cause I don't want to get stuck in the ugly dark place that I've once had relations with, yet distant over the years. Something like skeletons; you know they are there and are subject to show up at any time.

Too afraid to grow forward because I'll make a mistake. Insecure. Blind to my achievements and accomplishments cant see them in the shades of gray. Loose footing.

Rain. Drizzle but not washed out. Fluid like the flood waters hitting the levee. Pressure from nature.
Consciously subdued. Ready for tomorrow in mind of yesterday. Emotions. My drug.

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