Monday, March 12, 2012

Genie in a bottle

Is there someone in your life that you want or need to forgive? Have you tried to forgive them partly but not fully? You know how you kind of save some resentment towards them for yourself because it makes you feel OK and doesn't make you feel totally powerless over the situation.  Maybe you've experienced that feeling of wanting to let go of the anger and hurt towards the person that hurt you but couldn't do it fully.

Personally, initially I couldn't even think of forgiving them ever, but after a while I made a choice to let go of some of that heavy pain. I realized that I couldn't remain hostage to the pain any longer because it kept me stuck and I didn't want to be stuck any more. I wanted to be free. I knew that I needed to make some changes in the way that I viewed myself and also how I viewed the other person and trust me changing my view of them wasn't at all easy, as a matter of fact it was quite difficult. A part of me wanted to be angry for a lifetime but it would cost me too much. Perplexed and pondering my next calculated move I needed to pray hard, seriously.

Was my heart ready, not at all.  Have you ever thought about forgiveness and just couldn't bring your heart to commit to it? It isn't a very easy feat but in order to live fully in your own greatness it must to be done. Be aware that there will be many convoluted thoughts entering into your mind but try not to allow them to deter your decision to forgive. For instance, isn't it amazing how the one(s) that hurt you appear to have moved on with their lives without giving you or the situation a second thought, but there you are every minute or hour sitting with the rage and resentment that they caused. That's crazy but true right! And doesn't that make you even more upset that they seem to have disconnected from the hurtful event acting like it never happened. I know how that feels also.

Embracing the act forgiveness may not easy but it is very necessary. In order to for us  fully live in our own greatness we have to be able to forgive those that have caused us pain, those that may have spat on us and defamed our names. However, above all we must also forgive ourselves for the mistakes that we've made along the way. We must forgive ourselves for the poor choices, hasty decisions and negative intentions that added to our inner personal confliction. We can do it.


I wish I could forgive you for hurting me so
I wish I could forgive you for forcing me to let go


I wish I could forgive you for etching out time
I wish I could forgive you for changing a perfect world that could have been mine

I wish I could forgive you for altering my path
I wish I could forgive you for all of my absent laughs

I wish I could forgive you for coloring my blue skies gray
I wish I could forgive you for taking away my next day


I wish I could forgive you for opening a endless wound
I wish I could forgive you for a death too soon


I wish I could forgive you for all of the consequential choices
I wish I could forgive you for all of the negative voices

I wish I could forgive you for not making sense
I wish I could forgive you from that day and ever since


                                    elg3/12

2 comments:

  1. I recently came to terms in forgiving my mother. Please know that this act of courage did not have a face-to-face encounter., it took place in my soul.I forgive my mother for not being a good enough parent. My conscious act of forgiveness freed me from incarcerating self defeating thoughs. I will now thrive in the pool of my personal growth.

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  2. Thanks for sharing Yolanda. We each must, even in difficulty take the personal responsibility for our own balance be it mental, spiritual or physical.

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