Sometimes I wish that I could tell you the TRUTH

IF I could tell you what you did to me I would start by saying that you MARKED me for life! The WOUNDS are scabbed over and the blood has clotted but the remnants remain.

May I ask you why?! 

WHY was it so difficult to love ME? 

WHY weren't you there to protect ME?

IF I could tell you face to FACE I wouldn't clam up anymore! I would YELL at the top on my lungs and tell YOU exactly how I feel about what you did NOT do to me and tell you ALL that they DID do to me and how LOST I was in between times.  

I OFTEN wandered through space asking "who am I" and allowing THEM to identify my persona! 

Funny now 'cause they, including YOU were all WRONG! 

I am ME today even though you didn't care enough to LOVE me! 

I am FREE today even though you did't care enough to free me!

Everybody has a joke about Paula Deen , some funny stuff but the truth will always remain the same. I think it's sad and unfortunate that she is being penalized so deeply for her comments that she made some what 30years ago. Some "blacks" call each other by that name 24/7 and its OK because it's considered "a term of endearment". GTFOOH, that's just another excuse not to change. 

Maybe my point is this, you can't gratify it one day and then create this disclaimer the next day. If Paula found beauty in a plantation style weddings then so be it, let her have it likes and attractions. Don't you? Every weekend girls of all of types hit the floor at the club poppin', twerkin' and dippin' low to  songs that label them niggas', hoes bitches  and anything else derogatory isn't that belittling and insulting?  OHHH ok, its OK that blacks can make money off of the demoralizing, destructing and dislocating the minds of other blacks just like the slaveowners did many years ago. Is it the same or different?

Poor Paula I like her style, her humor and her back story.  I've never had the opportunity to enjoy a meal of her food,  but I do own one piece of cookware that I caught on sale and couldn't resist. 

Funny (or not so)  how "we" want other people to respect us as a race 24/7 but "we" don't respect our own for a minute. Personally I don't care who you are but if you are in my little circle of life respect is demanded. Equality is a must for me but this isn't about me is it or is it? 

When does the historical role of Slavery change its shape and posture in our present day lives? I have random thoughts that I am going to try and articulate within this message as clearly as I can but forgive me if things tend to become blurry. I am not sure that I want my grand children to learn in their classrooms that slavery even existed. Wait.... before you rush to judgement what I mean is that I don't want them to think that they have to be afraid to be themselves, don't have any internal thoughts of having to be afraid to reach for the starts and grab them, don't want them to be afraid that every white person thinks the same way as the slaveowners because some "whites" don't even care about color, some still have a heart that isn't tainted.  I don't want them to have any images ingrained in their minds of being the property of others, of having to step aside and be counted last if at all. I don't want my grand children to fear or expect what may or may not exist within the context of any given situation whether its for advancement or just social stimulations. Now don't get it wrong I truly understand that there are quite a few whites that have trained and taught and tattoo imprinted "anti black" mantras throughout the brains of their entire family generations, I get that. Truth is hate isn't about color its about character. The color of someones skin is just catalyst used to justify, identify and signify the truth of the inside of a person. 

Rodney asked "Can we all just get along"? Seriously, can we? IF so what will it take for us to realize that life is too short to hate ourselves as the human race?

I'm confused. Nigger this Nigger that ......on a small platform "in the neighborhood" its okay to say to my sisters and brothers but on a larger platform its hypocrisy, dementing, disgraceful, distasteful, and un-righteous, right?. Lets make up our minds on how we define ourselves.   

All races will mix eventually wont they?

In case you were wondering...YesI've been called the N word to my face by "barbie" and I tried to break her face OFF on purpose! I was a teenager even then fearless and dedicated. She hurt my feelings so I punched her and she hit the floor. Before that encounter we were strangers, a moment neither one of us will ever forget I'm sure. We each learned a lesson.   

Thanks for listening to my rant. Feel free to respond, comment or delete from your page.  

The bucket that runneth over

Including the silent ones just how many tears does one really shed in a lifetime. Tears are a wonder, they have power that release emotions that words can't sometimes describe.

Tears that mend
falls from the faces of the one who has forgiven another

Tears that bind
falls from the faces of the ones that keeps secrets

Tears that celebrate
falls from the faces where happiness is present

Tears of clarity
falls from the ones when the "ah ha" moment arrives

Tears of life
falls from the faces of new mothers and fathers at the arrival of their babies

Tears of amazement
falls from the faces of those who truly witness miracle

Tears of hope
falls from the face of a child that is hungry

Tears are a wonder .....

Etched

Lately...........memories..........of a time when........things were a little......rough. Times.....when she moved......too fast......when the wind burned her eyes.......in the wrong place.......at the wrong time....what is friendship......do they really care.......do they protect each other.......silly little boys scaring little girls........they thought it was funny.......she felt like a dummy.........she felt like a tool.....she never shoulda skipped school.


                                                                                     Images/elg

He moved me

I talked to god and asked him "when"

he didn't answer

I talked to god and asked him "when"

he didn't answer

I talked to god and asked him "how"

he didn't answer

I talked to god and asked him "how"

he didn't answer

I talked to god and I asked him "where"

he didn't answer

I talked to god and I asked him "where"

he didn't answer

 

When he didn't answer "when" I began to search inside

to find a way to make him respond

he didn't

When he didn't answer "how" I began to search inside

to find a way to make him respond

he didn't

When he didn't answer "where" I began to search inside to

find a way to make him respond

he didn't

 

I stopped asking "when"

I stopped asking "how"

I stopped asking "where"

 

I stopped asking and started doing

I stopped asking and started preparing

I stopped asking and started believing

I stopped asking and started praising

I stopped asking and started claiming

I stopped asking and started achieving

 

When he didn't answer my "when" he knew what I wanted to hear

but I wasn't ready

When he didn't answer my "how" he knew what I wanted to hear

but I wasn't ready

When he didn't answer my "where" he knew what I wanted to hear

but I wasn't ready

 

I needed not to fret,...of course he kept me in mind

I said inside that surely if his eye is on the sparrow he's has got to have his eye on me too!

Lord here my plea...I cried

 

Suddenly and when I least expected it he answered and as always..... right on time

All the while he was working in the background on my behalf putting things in place

and haha don't you know I had more questions ....

 

I asked "me lord"?

"Right now" lord?

"you sure am I ready" lord?

 

It's Amazing how we want what we ask for but when we get it we become nervous and overwhelmed in disbelief and joy

 

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

Obstacles - Selcatsbo - Obstacles

Just when you're focused and set to sail

here comes a whisper hissing  you're going to fail

that is so not true its false and an absolute lie

 we all know for you there's a ribbon in the sky

 

There will always be some kind of object obscuring your way

but don't hesitate to keep it moving.....do it anyway

remember there is nothing they can do and nothing they can say

to omit your name from the grand prize at bay

When you see that train a'comin you must get to runnin'  

but don't take off without a plan or your goal will be out of your hand!

Don't be fooled..... the obstacle may appear to be your favorite

but the taste it will leave behind you will not want to savor it

So take the old doubt and put her away

she has zero time for procrastination.. unuh not today!

Delaying your task is not an option

'cus your deadline is nearing, no time for stopin'

Tomorrow doesn't come without another distraction

but with a clear and purposeful plight you'll find endless satisfaction

knowing that you didn't give up, you didn't give in and you didn't quit

pat yourself on the back

give yourself a squeeze

and

scream

 I MADE IT!

Beauty is as it does.

What is beauty? Who is beautiful? When does a little girl have the ability to conceptualize the meaning of beauty? Who are the influences to our daughters that will cause her to erase or deny her beauty? How much does beauty cost? Can beauty be bought, if so the how much are you willing to pay for beauty? Society plays a big role in how beauty is defined; be careful or you all will start to look the same.

• The metric system plays into beauty; weigh this much NOT that!
• The school system plays into beauty; learn this NOT that!
• The church plays into beauty; love this one and NOT that!
• Our neighbors play into beauty; you can live on this street but NOT that!
• Our subconscious critic plays into beauty; wear your hair/clothes like this NOT that!

I could go on but I think you've gotten the point of it all. When do we begin to tell our daughters that they are the most beautiful girl in the whole world and no other can take that away from them, not tomorrow but today! Today go tell a girl child that she is amazingly made, perfectly selected, intentionally designed with awesome-ism, let her know that she was poured into a mold that no other can replicate duplicate obliterate or eradicate, tell her not tomorrow but today!

elg 9'12